I spent the day at work coming up with lots of marvellous blog post ideas and things I want to discuss and now am tired and frankly a bit emotional and don't really want to talk about any of it. Also to make matters worse I have told some people about this so now instead of having a monologue with myself and the ether, there might actually be other people reading this (other than my mum - who I think views as her job to point out any grammatical errors I might make and also as concrete proof that my education was a waste of money - but thanks Mummy - I love that you read it). Karma - it clearly exists - after typing the seriously "spoilt brat" preceding sentence the blog went mad and I thought I had lost the whole post - I consider myself duly chastised.
Thank you all for the great feedback by the way. Yes I do need to make the whole blog more "Anna" and exploit the fact that there are no rules with a blog. I hadn't considered it that way before. It strikes me now that the same things I need to do with the blog are the same things I am trying to do with my life. The whole point of this drastic career, location and lifestyle change is to make my whole life a little more "Anna" and a little less rule bound. Is this really how life works? Do we see the changes we need to try to manifest in the big things reflected in all the small things we do too? How terrifying...
So the things I have been thinking about posting today - perhaps to distract myself from what I really feel I need to address - the reasons behind this move - or perhaps to distract myself from committing my business plan to paper... I actually think are pretty interesting and I do want to discuss them, but perhaps not this evening.
My wonderful friend Sheila has been speaking to me about what it means to hold intention. She sent me an amazing email on the subject which I had to read several times for it to start to make sense - not because it was in anyway unclear but (any espians reading this will understand) I clearly have a lot of filters around it. It struck me that manifesting an intention applies to everything we do and in Sheila's email she breaks it down in to five very simple steps. What do these mean to you? What is your interpretation of them? I am curious...
- passion to pay the price
- the right perspective
- willingness to enter the unknown
- willingness to act
- the ability to hold focus
I am sure even without me expanding on them you can apply them to areas of your own life where you perhaps aren't getting the results you want and see the step or steps you are struggling with. Or perhaps that's just me...
Other than that I had all sorts of other vaguely pompous things I wanted to talk about but somehow as the day wore on I ended up having one of those dangerously close to meltdown afternoons and now I am aware people actually might read this I feel a little discomfited about posting my drivel about it. So here is the afternoon summarised with out the massive emotional wobble and naval gazing - think yourselves lucky that you have been spared!!!
I booked my flights (leaving on 31st August), secured a fourth investor (guys I LOVE the faith you have in me), tried to think about planning a leaving do (failed), got delivery of a new bikini (research clearly) and a new rash vest (seriously exciting), spoke to an ex-boyfriend (I know - huge mistake - for those of you that know - the South African one - except it was interesting that for the first time it felt as if he had no hold on me anymore) and finally went for a run and had all sorts of wonderful ideas that I needed to write down and have now forgotten. This was perhaps the best part of the day - the realisation that I am going to be doing something CREATIVE in future and something I feel PASSIONATE about and want to think about the whole time.... Seriously brilliant.
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